The Offering Plate~

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Funnel Cake Cake Cake CakeMany of you are back into the dating scene again, or have a fresh new fling for the spring season.  Therefore, I know you have much to do so I’ll keep this chapter brief.  I want to touch on this topic because I’ve been consulting with my sources, and apparently there’s still some confusion on the matter…

THE G.A.M.E. OF TREATING~

The general consensus when it comes to a Man treating a Damsel on a date.

Most people would say:

The man treats

For every date

Hands down

No exceptions

 I stand before you to break that rule today.

GOOD WALLET SWAGGER~

Very 1st date:

The man and his beautiful date are finished with their meal and the check comes.

The man should ALWAYS pull out his wallet, money clip, or sweaty dress sock stash depending on how old school he is.  No if’s, and’s, or Gluteus Maximus’s about it. That’s just plain common sense and common decency of a gentleman. Don’t be frugal, comrade. That $80 dollars you spend at Benihana will very well earn you a strong first impression with the Damsel.  Arguably, this same behavior of treating should be exhibited for a while, or at  least the…

2nd date…

3rd date…

4th date…

11th date, maybe.  That’s good wallet swagger.

But you’re on the 247th rendezvous and she still hasn’t come out of pocket for you……….. or at least ‘Offered’………..

That’s a no-no

Discard her

Immediately, if not sooner.

No hard feelings, but you would actually be doing this lady more of a disservice by keeping her around.

NO, BUT SERIOUSLY~

If you’ve been dating the same damsel for 2 years and she’s yet to reach for her purse in the “I’m about to pay” motion, you might want to reevaluate if she’s a keeper or not.

At this point, she expects you to come out of pocket. She has in someway either totally forfeited her independence for you or is outwardly showing that she has a slight selfish nature.  Either way, it’s not sexy.

RESPECT THE OFFER~

The ‘Offer’ goes a long way. The offer is sexy.

I don’t care if the tab is $11 dollars or $411 dollars.  Just the notion that a Damsel is willing to entertain both of you at her own expense is very attractive.  Comrade, if your date at least offers, you can decline (unless you’re broke, of course.) But if you’re leaving the house in 2013 without any currency, this calls for a separate session.  I personally think that the dishwashing thing is a myth.  Restaurant Management is seeking the feds nowadays.

Worst Case Scenario: You can always ditch together, and pray about it.

Ladies: Just the notion that you offer to treat says nothing but positive things about your character.  It may seem like just “a few dollars” to you, but believe me, it goes a long way.  When the man boasts about you to his comrades, please believe that your generosity will find its way into the conversation.

WITH THE NEW ROLE REVERSALS IN POWER~

Damsels nowadays may actually insist that they treat.  If you put up a fuss, they may even get aggressive and give the hostess their card and demand that the waiter doesn’t take yours.   I’ve even watched a girl stab a waiter’s hand for grabbing my check card instead of hers.  (It was with a spoon, though.) Be mindful of these women.  They are very independent, and they want to make it apparent that they don’t need you for anything (not even for a Tilapia dinner!)

She may be Robin Givens’ character from the “Boomerang” Movie.

Or, she may just be a sweetheart.  That’s for you to decide.

“FUNKY SESSION”~ 

(This is a new segment of G.A.M.E. These are quick and direct bullet points directed towards men and women.  You’re either going to love me or hate me for this one)

LADIES: Be cautious of this guy

“I forgot my wallet.”

  • The “I forgot my wallet guy is a loser.”   A bonafide loser, he’ll never make the playoffs. This species of man is still living and breathing among us.  Rid yourself of him.  Strange that he mysteriously “forgets his wallet” and realizes it juuuuuust when you pull up to the venue…every time.  But of course if you’ve been going out for a year or more, he gets three “I forgot my wallet” credits per year after that point.

 MEN: Be wary of this girl…

 “I have to use the restroom”

  • It’s not that she has to use the restroom. It’s WHEN she has to use the restroom.  Whenever it’s time to order in line, or when the check comes, she magically disappears for the exact amount of time it takes for YOU to pay the bill.  Facing it and watching you pay would be much more respectful. This girl is sneaky and self-centered.  Nevertheless, she’s an expert at what she does.

LADIES & MEN:

 “I’ll have the filet mignon with lump crab meat”

  • Keep your distance from the type of people who will order the most expensive thing (even if they don’t want it) just because they know you’re paying.  In other words, they order an entrée that they wouldn’t pay for with their own money.  Birthdays and special occasions don’t apply, of course.  This kind of person is not someone you need around you, and may possibly be a gold digger.  But maybe you’re into that sorta thing.~

Keep in mind that these writings are just EXCERPTS from my full-length “The Book of G.A.M.E.” (an acronym for Getting A Major Edge.) When I say a Major Edge, I mean Major! From Dating, Love, confidence, and the art of the human relationship, I cover it all. My thoughts are candid, and though raw in nature, my words will help you get a positive Edge on Life. I’m sure of it.  The Book in its entirety will be available for sale soon but until then, enjoy the following post, as it was written just for you.  Your reciprocal thoughts and comments are much appreciated.

~Charles Kellam