“The Flip”


|West Philadelphia| Once upon a time, my primary source of income was a makeshift car wash in front of my house on Columbia Ave. alongside my business partner — my younger brother, Christopher. Shoveling snow for the neighbors was seasonal work so we prayed for heavy downfall and long winters. Yes, 1993 was good to us. Very lucrative. Research “Storm of the Century” if you have no idea what I’m talking about.

Aside from washing the cars of our regulars, the Jamaican drug dealers — we were scared to death to even leave a hairline scratch or swirl marks on their Nissan Maximas and Acura Legend Coupes — and longing for the type of winters that came early and stayed late, I spent a lot of time writing as a “youngin.” God put something in me that I couldn’t even control, because the pencil in most cases, moved without my permission. The little bit of monies that I did receive were allocated to what you would expect a 12-year old boy to allocate them to — the skating rink on Elmwood — the large capri suns — hoagies — sneakers — and lest we forget, the copious amount of quarters that fed the Street Fighter Arcade at the Papi Store. I was quite nice with Ryu. But if I picked Dhalsim, you couldn’t beat me. It was quite known in the community.

I used to write on scratch paper and floppy disks at school. This was at a time when the Apple computers were bigger than apple tree trunks, unlike today. I wrote – mostly poetic pieces. At other times, anecdotes and short stories. Though I never really anticipated my writings to culminate to anything as a youth, I oft fantasized about keeping every word that I ever put on paper. My efforts to retain a scratch paper portfolio were futile and floppy disks were ridiculously untrustworthy. It was at this moment in my childhood that I discovered the importance of “The Flip.”

I got a side job: fetching cigarettes for some of the old ladies in the neighborhood. A couple of my gigs were pro bono with promises of some financial generosity the next go’round. Times were hard and I catered to my market. But, the others were good to me. My rate ranged anywhere from 50 cents to my personal favorite, “keep the change”, especially if Mrs. Thomas gave you a ten dollar bill for a pack of benson and hedges gold and a Pepsi — which you knew would only total about $4 back in the early 90’s…at best. Whenever they said “keep the change,” I sped off until I was out of sight, nervous as hell that they would come to their senses and reverse the offer while I was in view.

I used my wages for cigarette runs, and flipped them into my first journal. It was a beauty. I wrote in this thing/raced to fill it up like there was no tomorrow. Of course, I no longer have this book, but the ideas that were created, recorded and inspired were flipped to new ones … and then again … and again.

And once more…several times.

Here we are 20 years later, and I’m a published author of “The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge)” — a book that was originally founded on various scratch papers doused with soft soap from my little baby car wash in the 90’s. So I guess in a way, the early journals never left me even when I thought they did. I flipped a few coins to finance my dream.

Wherever you are in your life, there’s a momentous flip that awaits you. Take risks and the rewards will take you. If it’s in a business sense, make that flip toward something better. If you’re in a poisonous relationship, remove yourself from it and flip all the heartbreak to a new refinement that will sharpen you like a sword and make you undeniable to new prospects. If you’re an artist like myself, keep creating to the best of your ability and flip yourself to mastery. Why wouldn’t you? Keep flipping toward the better. You deserve it.

That’s all. Evening.

|Comments as always, appreciated|

~Charles Kellam “The Philly Cat!”


an ode to the two-ply


Tissue paper is like success — it’s mandatory.

Or here’s another way to look at it:
The absence of tissue paper = the presence of failure.
I nearly had a cardiac arrest when I found out from a cohort that men, in 2015, invite Damsels over their quarters for courtship with NO tissue paper in the house!
It is IMPERATIVE that men have a bountiful stock of tissue paper available for her comfort and protection. Catch a damsel on a good day, and she’ll ex you off of her prospect list if her hind parts wasn’t properly accommodated.
After all, women have a lot of operations to maintain their beauty and most of those things involve tissue paper consumption.
Any man who has a stack of Quiznos or Chipotle napkins on the back of his toilet in place of benevolent tissue paper should be ashamed of calling himself a man. Insult to injury, these aren’t even the good napkins like the ones you find at a summer BBQ. These are the brown, watered down recycled napkins — which are probably equally as effective as using the old school Happy Meal boxes to make a clean sweep.
And so you ask — what is a good amount of tissue paper to have on hand?
Have at least 7 rolls on deck.
That’s a healthy inventory for at least one evening of wooing.
I should know.
I spent most of my early childhood years with three women in the house.
Do you know how long Tissue Paper lasted in my home?
11 seconds.
And not the roll, I’m talking about the entire package.
Go and Get a Major Edge on your paper products:
They’re not too plush to buy
They’re too clutch to shy
This is an ode to the two-ply
~Charles Kellam

New Look | Same Great Taste



The One That Got AwayI sat and pondered about this post while sipping from a coke can that read the words “Dreamer” along the side of it. A lot has happened since the last time we met. I published The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge) in January 2014 — which has done quite well by the way and I thank every and each one of you for the sales and support. Yes, I said “every and each.” I also experienced Africa for the first time, and then a second — traveled across the globe and proposed to the most gorgeous woman in the world — spoke to some kids — stood on a few stages to a few groups of strangers and told some stories that elicited laughter — travelled some more — and of course, bought a few new suits and hats along the way. Needless to say, time has gotten away from me. And time, whether you’re having fun or not, flies, doesn’t it? So…you might as well enjoy it. You owe it to yourself.

Life has been more than a blessing and I’ve been enjoying every second! A dear friend and brother of mine inspired me to keep the blog alive, not so much for own benefit, but to pay the inspiration forward. I took some time to get my thoughts in order and realize that I come to you now as a better, more polished man. A man in love, first of all. A man who has seen some of God’s green earth’s most necessary sights with mere dollars in his checking account. A man with no tattoos on his spirit. A more vulnerable, giving man who is more polished, self-aware, fearless and unapologetic. A man who is funny sometimes — a man who is letting his beard grow in for the first time because She likes it. A man with the edge that he spent 6 painful years writing about before the book was published. I’m excited to bring this man to you on a regular basis. I’m all in.

Thank you for continuing to support me and please do share.

Anticipate me.





Yes, please.


Here’s a long status for you. Yes, please. So I’m embarking on an incredible voyage tomorrow — ETHIOPIA. I’m terribly honored at the opportunities that God & Jesus Christ has made ajar up for me. It’s always been a lifelong dream of mine to be able to go to Africa and use my gifts to impact people. I still can’t get over the fact that tomorrow is the day. It’s been 8 years since I’ve stepped on the stage as a stand up comedian — and as an unorthodox style with unprecedented purpose — I thank God for every fan of the art form who has lent me their ears throughout the years. Part of why I’m taking this pilgrimage is that I’m burnt out. As some of you care to know, I published a book recently. I’m sure that I’ve inundated your newsfeed with its promotion long enough. Well, this book was hands down the most arduous task I’ve ever accomplished in my life. It feels rewarding now but honestly, IT BURNT ME OUT. So much of my life experiences, my soul, and my bone marrow went into this piece — that sometimes — it feels like I don’t have much more to give. And anyone who knows me knows that I’m anti-LA despite the fact that I’ve been there over 9 years. Most of the residents are opportunistic, pretentious, and ungrateful — some of the most inauthentic people I’ve ever come across. A lot of people are not happy for you when you reach your Zenith, but then again that’s anywhere. But also – you must know that I’ve met some lifelong friends and comrades from LA — both in the biz and outside. Notwithstanding, Los Angeles is burning me out. Hence, my writing has taken a toll, my stand up comedy, and even my body. I’m going to Africa to recharge — spiritually — mentally — creatively — physically. There’s so much more to life than self-gain…I’ve embraced this notion…and it’s important for you to do the same. I plan to work with children, promote literary awareness, tell jokes, build playgrounds, and immerse myself into a culture that is admittedly so less fortunate than my own — all, without pay. I don’t want it. What will be paid to my heart I know is so much more valuable than cash. Iron sharpens iron. And as an artist, it is my job to sharpen myself so that I can bring it to whoever’s listening, reading, or watching.

Life is but a vapor. Don’t take your days for granted. Africa doesn’t have Starbucks with free wi-fi every two blocks — so please don’t fret if you don’t hear from me via text, email, or status. Don’t worry. I’ll come back wavy. But if by chance I don’t, the Nissan and the Acura is in the will for you Daniel Auspicious Hunter. Joke. Okay, maybe not. Be wavy and I love you — all of you. I’m happy for anything positive that you’re doing. Yes, please. ~Charles Kellam “The Philly Cat!”


Mom-Meezy & I @ 5Guys



This is A Wavy affair.
RSVP FOR THIS ONE DAY EVENT: A classy event that will have you laughing and inspired by the end of it.

The Official Book Signing for The Book of GAME –a universal handbook that destroys the outdated rules of dating and life.

A selection will be read from the author followed by open forum to have any of your questions answered. And then it REALLY gets wavy…

Comedy Show and Live Music.
Stand up by celebrity comedians London Brown , Dejon, the Author and of course, a special guest lady. (Gotta have a damsel!!!!!) Music by William Hawkins.





7066 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, California 90038

8:30-10PM PST


The Chase Bank Parking lot across the street from the venue will be rented out for this event — and it will be free for the evening.



Admission is free with purchase of the book at the venue. If you already own “The Book of G.A.M.E.” – bring it and use it as your ticket. There will be a signing and photo ops after the show.

To be respectful to ownership, there is a TWO ITEM minimum at the Gardenia lounge which is easy considering they have a delicious menu and a full bar.



No. Dress fresh. If you’re proud of how you look when you step out the house, then so are we.



A date. An ex. A husband, wife, sister, friend or stepson. Anyone you know who enjoys laughing and being around good energy.



The book will be on sale for $15 and available for purchase at the door. 70% of the proceeds will benefit the Swings for Dreams Organization — which builds playgrounds for kids in Africa.

If you haven’t already, you are encouraged to peruse the book during the show just in case you have any questions for the author during the open forum.



Then, don’t.

This will be the only book signing in the Los Angeles area but keep in mind that “The Book of G.A.M.E.” by Charles Kellam is available worldwide on Amazon.



YES! And it will end on time.
In other words — if you’re late, you’ll miss something good.


The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge) is trailblazing it’s path of becoming a national bestseller. Released in January 2014, the content has captivated audiences by its sleek, universal and modern approach to dating and life. The author and renowned comedian, Charles Kellam “The Philly Cat!” has been heckled by his fans — in a good way — about commencing the first official book signing. Well, here it is.

After the show and book read, the author will be conducting a book signing. 70% of book sale proceeds will benefit Swings for Dreams — an organization that builds playgrounds for impoverished children in Africa.backCoverImageFinal

Pretty Girls Poop — an excerpt from “The Book of G.A.M.E.”


Chapter 5: Pretty Girls Poop


A pretty girl may never show her true colors, especially when she first starts courting someone. A woman’s bowels in my opinion, are the most resilient force on the planet. If a lady is seeing 
someone who she deems special, she’ll hold her numero dos for over a year. The instant that a man leaves the house for any reason, the damsel will blitz the bathroom like a linebacker to a pass play. 

(This chapter reminds men that regardless of the amount of beauty a damsel possesses, she is still a human being — so she need not be feared. This will enhance confidence — minimize rejection — and make the world a better venue.)

Charles Kellam
The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge)

Available on Amazon

Pretty Girls Poop