an ode to the two-ply

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Tissue paper is like success — it’s mandatory.

Or here’s another way to look at it:
The absence of tissue paper = the presence of failure.
I nearly had a cardiac arrest when I found out from a cohort that men, in 2015, invite Damsels over their quarters for courtship with NO tissue paper in the house!
It is IMPERATIVE that men have a bountiful stock of tissue paper available for her comfort and protection. Catch a damsel on a good day, and she’ll ex you off of her prospect list if her hind parts wasn’t properly accommodated.
After all, women have a lot of operations to maintain their beauty and most of those things involve tissue paper consumption.
Any man who has a stack of Quiznos or Chipotle napkins on the back of his toilet in place of benevolent tissue paper should be ashamed of calling himself a man. Insult to injury, these aren’t even the good napkins like the ones you find at a summer BBQ. These are the brown, watered down recycled napkins — which are probably equally as effective as using the old school Happy Meal boxes to make a clean sweep.
And so you ask — what is a good amount of tissue paper to have on hand?
Have at least 7 rolls on deck.
That’s a healthy inventory for at least one evening of wooing.
I should know.
I spent most of my early childhood years with three women in the house.
Do you know how long Tissue Paper lasted in my home?
11 seconds.
And not the roll, I’m talking about the entire package.
Go and Get a Major Edge on your paper products:
They’re not too plush to buy
They’re too clutch to shy
This is an ode to the two-ply
~Charles Kellam

The Human Mannequin — an excerpt from “The Book of G.A.M.E.”

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Chapter 9: The Human Mannequin

DON’T THINK AS A MAN. THINK AS A MANNEQUIN.

You may recognize mannequins as pieces of fiberglass that pose in the mall. Pale skin and skinny calf muscles. Take the time to study them one day. I promise you, they’re so much more than that. Mannequins are the prototypes of style and fashion. They’re trendsetters. Mannequins are arrogant, and for good reason. They know they look great. Mannequins don’t speak much. But even if they did, they wouldn’t need to. They have silent presence—which is what you strive for.

(This chapter is a brief reinforcement to men that presentation is everything — how you present yourself will be the determinant factor of your professional and love lives)

Charles Kellam
The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge)
Available on Amazon

The Human Mannequin

Pretty Girls Poop — an excerpt from “The Book of G.A.M.E.”

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Chapter 5: Pretty Girls Poop

A WOMAN’S TRUE COLORS—FIFTY SHADES OF BROWN

A pretty girl may never show her true colors, especially when she first starts courting someone. A woman’s bowels in my opinion, are the most resilient force on the planet. If a lady is seeing 
someone who she deems special, she’ll hold her numero dos for over a year. The instant that a man leaves the house for any reason, the damsel will blitz the bathroom like a linebacker to a pass play. 

(This chapter reminds men that regardless of the amount of beauty a damsel possesses, she is still a human being — so she need not be feared. This will enhance confidence — minimize rejection — and make the world a better venue.)

Charles Kellam
The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge)

Available on Amazon

Pretty Girls Poop

Style – Chivalry – Grooming – Dating – Life – Love – Happiness – I cover it.

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Crop the person out of choice, and place yourself in the photo.

Get the edge.

No one deserves happiness more than you!

Purchase The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge) on amazon today — and eliminate your problems.
Now available for the “Look inside the book” feature.

Twon's Wedding~