The Human Mannequin — an excerpt from “The Book of G.A.M.E.”


Chapter 9: The Human Mannequin


You may recognize mannequins as pieces of fiberglass that pose in the mall. Pale skin and skinny calf muscles. Take the time to study them one day. I promise you, they’re so much more than that. Mannequins are the prototypes of style and fashion. They’re trendsetters. Mannequins are arrogant, and for good reason. They know they look great. Mannequins don’t speak much. But even if they did, they wouldn’t need to. They have silent presence—which is what you strive for.

(This chapter is a brief reinforcement to men that presentation is everything — how you present yourself will be the determinant factor of your professional and love lives)

Charles Kellam
The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge)
Available on Amazon

The Human Mannequin


Style – Chivalry – Grooming – Dating – Life – Love – Happiness – I cover it.


Crop the person out of choice, and place yourself in the photo.

Get the edge.

No one deserves happiness more than you!

Purchase The Book of G.A.M.E. (Getting a Major Edge) on amazon today — and eliminate your problems.
Now available for the “Look inside the book” feature.

Twon's Wedding~

Get Happiness in only 196 pages~


Get happiness in only 196 pages~

At last! The cure for anyone who has ever had relationship problems…

The Book of G.A.M.E. takes the game that has long been a household name – reinvents it, and makes it his own – G.A.M.E. is now an acronym for Getting a Major Edge. This is The Universal Handbook of Dating and Life that is just as relevant as it is effective. A self help/happiness/dating humor piece, it rebuilds men from scratch and gives damsels insight on what to expect from a man with edge. Covering the importance of fashion, confidence, chivalry, and many other overlooked blunders, the author, stand-up comedian, and humanitarian breaks the mold of what’s been done before and builds a much better one. Painfully honest, yet refreshing- the goods are here – with the author’s raw personal accounts spawned from travels, his entertainment career, and dating. The author is a polymath when it comes to dating & life and it shows through the pages. His fearless and avant-garde approach of courting will reshape relationships as we know it. This book is one of one. Quotes from The Book of G.A.M.E. include:
  • “A damsel judges a man in the first 2 seconds based on his shoes.”
  •  “There’s no cure for the insecure person”
  • “Everything you want to know about a damsel, you can learn from her feet.”

Tongue-in-cheek, raw, and inventive, Charles Kellam introduces a brand new way of thinking. His interactive voice will lure you in, entertain, and enlighten you. The Book of G.A.M.E. is also funny – a powerful and refreshing dating tool that will be a conversation piece for years to come.

The Good Hairline Years


Human Mannequein

I feel like I wasted my last good hairline years on my ex~

I remember the days when I had a dark, crispy, robust hairline that would slice one deeply if they ran their finger across it at the wrong angle. I remember it went straight across my forehead like a crew neck t-shirt; now it’s more like a v-neck.

Yet with a combination of Time, Bad Relationships, stress, and DNA, it’s not as vigorous anymore. But it doesn’t concern me. My handsome starts from within.

Ladies, you may find the same to be true in your life. You spend countless months, years, and decades with men who relentlessly consume your “Good Hairline Years.” Maybe your hair used to fall and land at the bottom of your back, and now it struggles to barely land at the bottom of your neck. Perhaps the thick, course, beautiful hair that used to drive you crazy because it was hard to manage is now thinner than it used to be…and you want it back. But knowing that you can’t get it back (naturally) drives you even crazier. Stupid Crazy, as you realize that life happens.

Yes, it does.

But this reinforces our human state, and that also, time is the most valuable resource. It’s the ONLY thing in life, other than life itself, that you cannot get back. Treat it as such.

The Good Hairline Years might be a metaphor for an even deeper emotional and spiritual urgency. Maybe you want kids, and he doesn’t. Maybe you spend too much time in the house because you’re scared to death to go out and enjoy your life after watching the news. The news is the devil. Maybe you’ve been using that Wells Fargo teller position as a “Stepping Stone” and realized that 12 years has passed by………….meanwhile, your passion to become an interior decorator has been put on the back burner. Not even on the back burner, on the foreman grill in the closet. Maybe you’re with a man, just to maintain the perception of “being with someone” and have a warm bed to enter. Meanwhile, happiness does not exist in you.

Or maybe, just maybe you lead the perfect life, have the perfect hairline, and have no need for the Book of G.A.M.E.

Or, maybe not.

Female or male, you need to understand that your beauty starts from within. Identify that and let it resonate outward. NEVER let time pass with any person, thing, or opportunity that’s not good for you.

Don’t waste your Good Hairline Years on anyone.

June 27th, 2013. ~ The Book of G.A.M.E. available at a book store near you

Pretty Girls Poop.


Please believe, that I did everything in my power to avoid this issue.

Well, almost everything. After having a deep talk with one of my dear comrades, I found it necessary.  He actually inspired the title that you hate that you love.

Pretty girls poop!

I’m not too keen on it.

I don’t like it.

And to be quite frank with you, I still don’t fully accept it.

And I know what you’re probably thinking:

“It’s 2013. Get over it!”

But I’m not over it, so I implore you to get over the fact that I’m just not over it yet.

These are my thoughts~

I put Damsels on a pedestal.  Even the ones who don’t deserve it.

I guess you can say, I’m a female chauvinist, if you will.

My Mother raised me, so she was like a God to me.


I look up to women.

I treasure their existence.

I admire them.

Again, even the ones who don’t deserve it.

So just the mere fact in knowing that Damsels defecate troubles me.

It humanizes them in a way that I’m not really comfortable with.

But that’s just me.

And as much as I despise this harsh reality, I realize the bigger picture.

G.A.M.E. can be improved significantly if men took the time to realize that Pretty Girls have to visit the porcelain every now and again.  Depending on how you look at it, we can turn the feces into fertilizer.  And some men just don’t see it this way yet.  That’s why I’m here…



Every man in the world, including myself, has seen that Damsel that was so beautiful, it made him quiver.

Made him nearly sh*t himself…at least once.  I know I have.


Because true beauty is nerve-wracking and scary.

(And by beauty, I mean whatever you perceive as such.)

When people get nervous, their bowels start doing peculiar things.

It doesn’t matter if you celebrate Ramadan, on your 9th day of fasting; matter will find it’s way to your tail feather if you’re nervous.  Bottom line.

So back to my Soapbox…

There was a girl named Nia quite a few yesterdays ago.

Nia. Was. Everything.

She & I lived on the same street, her about 6 houses down.

I don’t know what it was about this girl that wrapped my stomach in knots when I saw her; but somehow, she was successful at it every time.

So what did I finally do?

I did what every young handsome boy with raging hormones does whenever he sees a girl he likes:

I ran.

I fled the scene immediately, like clockwork.

I would go back to the comfort of my living room and spectate her glory from the mini blinds.

This was way before the Book of G.A.M.E. even came out.

I was G.A.M.E.-less

Even my father’s continuous pep talks couldn’t get me to overcome these emotional hurdles I was hurdling…fear that she would reject me.

If I knew then

what I know now, Nia would’ve been in the bag.

Turns out that I put her on such a high pedestal, that I was unable to reach her myself. And that was my own doing.

Comrades, be confident.  Please.  A Damsel at the end of the day, is a human being at the beginning of the day.  Confidence is everything.  You need to understand that rejection is always a possibility, even for the Damsel that makes you nervous.  G.A.M.E. is a mechanism designed to help you minimize these rejections.  Never be too afraid to approach what you think may be a shot at something real.  Pedestals are for Bronze, Silver, and Gold Medalists.  But if you happen to accidentally place her up there real high…

Bring her back down!

You can simply do so by just remembering, that Pretty Girls do it too.



Ex and the City.


“After a break-up, certain street, locations, even times of day are off-limits. The city becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.” ~Carrie Bradshaw (Sex & The City)

I’m an avid fan of “Sex & The City.” Always was. Although, I wasn’t particularly pleased with the direction they chose with the second installment of the movie. Quite frankly, I sincerely hope that they end it there; I really can’t bear to hear another over-the-top “Churchy” rendition by Jennifer Hudson. But that’s neither here nor there…

I want you to Get a Major Edge (G.A.M.E.) and I stole the quote from Carrie because I think that it has all the necessary vitamins and minerals to help you do so. Every relationship has an expiration date. It’s up to you and your mate to preserve its contents as best as you can. Just know that when that expiration date becomes today, the “emotional landmines” are coming. Look out for them. If you know where they are, you can avoid them at all costs and spare yourself the casualty. Who has time for that anyway? Life goes on and it will gladly leave you if you allow it. I now have the honor in saying that I can speak from personal experience. When my ex-damsel and I were in the apex of our relationship, ….


She and I did much more than watch “Sex & the City” DVDs all day.



For those of you who are not familiar with such idioms, it basically means that she and I did everything together.

Horseback riding in Lake Tahoe, Rode tricycles over the Golden Gate Bridge, Sinned for beads in New Orleans, Walked the dog

at the Grand Canyon, Ate some overrated Chicago-Style pizza in Chicago. We did everything together! As a couple, “boring”

would never define this. I can say that much. We kept each other on our toes. (That basically just means we were

unpredictable.) Alright, I’m being a smart-ass now. But any who, we became restaurant connoisseurs, saw where they were

going on the travel channel and booked flights there for the hell of it. You get the point. We

had fun.

But feces happened.

>>>>> FAST FORWARD A YEAR LATER >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Next thing you know, I was single in the city, broken, and with nothing to do because everything that I can possibly think of (including breathing) reminds me of things I used to do with the ex-damsel.

For months, I fought this phenomenon. Trying to escape the inevitable. Cutting out places that we used to go, ordering and cooking different dishes other than the ones she used to love. Skipping the sad love songs that I used to enjoy. I was kidding myself. A one man army in an emotional battlefield. For almost a year, I told myself that I could sever all ties with her completely. What I ended up doing naturally was depriving myself of life~ in other words, there’s a lot of things that I used to do and loved doing prior to my ex. When my ex came, I invited her into my life whole-heartedly. So the things I enjoyed, we now both enjoyed. But when my ex went, I associated those things as “our” things instead of realizing the bigger picture. Life exists before and after an Ex.

In fact, “Ex” are the first two letters of “Exist.”

I can go anywhere in the world now and be confident in my decisions. No corner of God’s green land is off limits….including: Old faves that my ex and I used to enjoy in the city. Of course, the passenger is different, and I am pleased with that. It’s as if the landmines never existed in the first place.

Keep your “Edge” and your next courtship will be a lot safer emotionally and physically. A lot more appropriate


You have to brace the possibility that the days of you and your mate might be numbered.

If/When it does, it may feel like you’re just borrowing a small piece of land on a huge field of emotional landmines. But don’t feel that way. Embrace them as a positive. Use them as a constant reminder that your man (or damsel) was most likely leading you to disaster.

If you were blown into smithereens

you’ll still make it.

All you can do is pick yourself up piece by piece. Just be sure to build stronger next time. You can still listen to those Brian McKnight and Coldplay albums and enjoy the music for what it is. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Your G.A.M.E. won’t be either. Eventually, you’ll fall in love with the city again and what it has to offer. Don’t be foolish. It’ll take time to get your city back, I know. I’m not perfect, if you can believe it. It took me a little time also. Take Salmon, for instance.


was my ex damsel’s favorite food.

I can’t lie, I dodged salmon meals for a little while after the break up because it reminded me of her.

But now I don’t turn it down if it’s available.

I would be cuckoo to do so. Salmon is delicious.
Not to mention, packed with omega-3 fatty acids.

You have to acknowledge that there’s a plethora of other choices out there for you: Red Snapper, Barramundi, and so on. So why chase the Salmon? An old proverb from my Grandmother and as corny as it sounds, quite accurate: “There’s plenty of fish in the sea.” You go fishing and get so caught up on catching a salmon that you miss out on the Whale….the real catch. Keep your mind and heart open to receive greatness.
And don’t start getting all juicy-eyed when Brian McKnight’s “one last cry” comes on. Relax. It’s just a song.

Your comments and subscriptions are much appreciated.

G.A.M.E. is a learning community.


Continue reading

Times are changing~



If only G.A.M.E. were more like energy…
Energy can neither be created nor destroyed.
G.A.M.E. can undoubtedly be created, and has most certainly been destroyed.

Do you know why?

They don’t make men like they used to.
Simple and plain.

Times are changing~

30 is the new 29. And ladies are the new man. Men in general have turned into an impressionable and insecure species with no identity. Poor parenting or lack thereof, media outlets, entertainment, pop culture, etc. has attributed to our failing as a whole. I’m not here to make excuses, so I won’t. It has become socially acceptable for men to take on the traits of a damsel. There’s always exceptions to every rule, of course. Where did we drop the ball?

I’m on my soapbox:
I’m in Macy’s. On this particular day, I decided to treat myself to a new fragrance. I ended up going with ‘Legend, by Mont Blanc’. But prior to that, my shopping experience was real shaky. It’s been eons since I’ve been cologne shopping and I have everything so I really didn’t need another. But you can never have enough a young damsel once taught me… So I’m back now for the first time in years and I noticed that all of the bottle designs for men have become increasingly feminine. I thought to myself, that’s because damsels buy and men only sit at home at play sports, right?

Shut up!

But I guess it’s like dog treats…..they put bacon on the packaging to market to the humans. Dogs don’t give a lovemaking what bacon looks like. Any respectable pup should have never even tasted bacon. But it’s the owner making the final decision. So back to the cologne~ not only were the bottles feminine, a lot of the fragrances were distinctly soft and unacceptably sweet. On more than 3 occasions I had to look at the bottle and ask “is this still the men’s section?”

The rep would kindly reply,
Yes sir, but this item is unisex.
A clear copout.
Case in point.

Everything has become “unisex.”

As a whole, the way men dress, walk, speak, and carry themselves has demonstrated a terrible compromise in swagger and bravado.

The things that are destroying manhood:
~Pastel scarfs in the spring or summer time
~Boots with a tall heal on them
~Pants so skinny that men have to peel them off at night. (If they’re inside out when they come off, they’re way to skinny.)

I see “couples” walking down the street all the time in Los Angeles. From behind, you can’t tell the man and damsel apart anymore. I swear to Bob.

I will be responsible for reinstalling G.A.M.E. in men. Creating that good energy.

Be confident.
Be masculine, if applicable.
Be yourself.

Don’t think outside the box, DO outside the box.
Please destroy everything you’re doing.
Don’t walk up to a beautiful damsel and say, you are so beautiful.
Calling a beautiful woman “beautiful” does not impress her.


Would you walk up to a baseball player on the field and say, hey, you play baseball.

It’s boring. It’s trite. It’s lazy. It’s supercilious.

The beautiful damsel hears that she’s “beautiful” too often. Your words are not compliments. If nothing else, they sicken her.

I’m done writing for now.